New Plaid Shorts and Dedication

I was playing soccer with the boys on Monday. I was wearing the snazzy new plaid shorts my dear wife had bought me as I had been saying I needed some more shorts with pockets so that I could keep my phone and wallet with me while coaching. A ball was passing over my head so I tried reaching it with a leg high up in the air when I heard the horrifying tearing sound of, not my thigh muscle, but my brand new shorts. The tear was long, like really long, like Mississippi River long! In fact the one leg of the shorts was just about flapping in the wind from crotch to the bottom of the shorts. Not knowing what else to do, I started to laugh in embarrassment and cover up with my hands. The boys all came running to look as good boys are wont to do. I was thinking I should get on the motorbike and go home, but the other coach laughed and said it wasn't a big deal. I had a t-shirt that was long and almost covered the underwear showing. I was still very uncomfortable and kept one hand holding my t-shirt stretched downward, until I decided to look in the storage under the bleachers for some help. A-ha, I found a sweater that had been left by a player, so I tied that around my waist, reminiscent of the breech-cloths used by certain Native American tribes, and was ready for business once again. I spent the rest of the practice (40 min) with this new fashion statement and listening to a steady stream of snickering from the boys. Surely they will respect their coaches dedication after this!