Self-Discipline

Written on August 16^th on our way back home to La Crete

Its been a long time on the road and I’m really looking forward to settling down but who knows when that’s going to happen since we’re somewhat homeless for the time being. Yes, we will have a roof over our head, thanks to my parents, but not a place to call our own. We are waiting to hear from TEAM about further training we might need and because of that, we haven’t taken over our house yet because we have great renters and don’t want to see them go if we are headed some place else in the next month or 2.

I get so tired of unknowns. Someone told us yesterday that we need to took at it like we’re hanging onto a limb over top of a cliff and see it as an adventure instead of something to be afraid of, knowing that we can trust God to lead and to guide. Hmmmmmm, adventure? If I use human wisdom, it doesn’t seem like much of an adventure to me, just a death wish and undesired stress. I think it takes a special person to look at life through adventure colored glasses. I think I’m too stuck in a rut to be such a person. Oh to be able to throw all caution and worry to the wind and jump in with both feet into the adventure God has planned.

We’ve been listening to the radio and Charles Stanley, who has been talking about self discipline. There’s that word again. I’ve struggled with self discipline all my life and I’m so tired of doing the same things over and over again. I could be much more successful for the Kingdom if I was self disciplined!

It’s funny but there’s a song on the radio right now and it’s words have captured my attention….

….”It happens in a blink, it happens in a flash….what is it I’ve done with my life?”

My thoughts exactly. But I don’t want to live like this, I want to do grand things with my life! Things of consequence, things that matter, things that make a difference, things that count in the light of eternity. But all too often I fritter away the minutes of my day with things that seem so unimportant…...really, what does laundry and making meals mean in the light of eternity? What help is reading a book or watching a movie for fun, in the light of eternity? Sometimes this life seems so full of unimportant things that take my eyes off the prize and steal away the moments and minutes I have to make a lasting impact…...a real difference.

Part of my problem is my lack of self discipline. My laziness in prioritizing my day with eternity on my mind instead of my selfish desires. Going to bed at a decent time and getting up early shouldn’t be so hard, getting exercise and losing weight shouldn’t be such a drag, having daily devotions and spending time in the word of God should be easy to do first thing in the morning. Being on time, doing what I say I’m going to do, not procrastinating, watching what I eat, biting my tongue, giving praise instead of criticism, parenting in love instead of exasperation, praising and being thankful instead of complaining…….Self discipline is so incredibly hard. It takes strength, and will and desire. Do I have what it takes? Again the radio sings,

“You must think I’m strong, to give me what I’m going through.

Forgive me if I’m wrong, this looks like more that I can do on my own.

Maybe that’s the point, to reach the point of giving up,

cause when I’m finally at rock bottom

that’s when I start looking up and reaching out.

I give up, I’m not strong enough.

Hands of mercy won’t you cover me

Lord right now I’m asking you to be strong enough

….I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength….”

Enough strength to be self disciplined? I guess we’ll see.

“What comes next? God only knows….but here it goes…..

Let me rediscover you and by your grace, I’ll follow through.”