To do or not to do?

All my life I feel like I have been living to do. Do my chores, do my school work, do the right thing, do more, do better, do to please, do your best, do...do...do...do...I must admit that living like this becomes tiring and I always feel like there's still so much I need to do.....it never seems to be finished. I sit back and look at my life and see all I've 'done' and find myself wondering, what has it amounted to? Is any of it of consequence? Has the world really been a better place because of all my doing? My pessimistic side looks at the past and says that I haven't really done much with my life. Society looks at my days gone by and says that I haven't really been successful, I haven't risen to the occasion, I set the bar too low.

Where do I look?

I must admit that lately I've been facing a bit of a mid-life crisis.....call it what you want....however, I find myself feeling that I haven't done enough, that I haven't left my mark on this world, that I haven't made a difference and that I need to hurry up and get busy doing more, something of significance, because my time is running out...

Yet my physical body, my tiredness, my daily headaches, my lack of energy....make me wonder how am I going to do more when I already feel overwhelmed and unable to keep up with what I'm presently doing?

It's a conundrum. Any where I look, I find myself lacking. Until today, when I took the time to look at what He had to say. I gained new insight and found a better lens to view past days...through the eyes of my Heavenly Father.

“You are the light of the world – like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” Matthew 5:14-16 NLT

What do lights do? Actually, in and of themselves they really don't do much at all. To be a light is to shine. That's it. Simple. Being.

Being made...Lights don't make themselves. Light bulbs are manufactured in factories where someone puts the pieces together.

Being bought...They are boxed up and sold in stores.

Being used...They are inserted into sockets by those who buy them.

Being filled...And they shine only because someone flicks a switch and electricity courses through them.

Lights can't work harder to shine brighter or stronger. They can't work at trying to light up the entire world, they just wait to be turned on and then they shine and illuminate their space. They exist only because someone made them and they shine only because the electricity flowing through them enables them to be what they were created to be. A light....shining in the darkness.

When it comes to the life of a lightbulb....there's not a lot of doing, just a lot of being.

Matthew says that believers are suppose to be to shining lights to the world. But when I look at my life I don't see a lot of being and shinning, I just see a lot of doing.

Doing chores and to-do lists

Doing wifely responsibilities

Doing parenting

Doing friendship

Doing mission work

Doing correspondence

Doing expectations

Doing, doing, doing, doing.........just leads to being tired, overwhelmed and disappointed.

What if I modeled my life after the simple and unassuming lightbulb? What if I was living “to be” instead of living “to do”? What does it really mean to be a light on a stand, just shining....a simple light being simply what it was created to be?

How would my life and outlook on life be different if I set aside doing and lived in the realm of being...

Being made...”For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...” Ps 139:13-14

Being bought...”Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price.” 1 Cor. 6:19-20

Being filled...”Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit...” Eph. 5:17-18

Being used...“You are the light of the world...a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house....let your good deeds shine out...” Matthew 5:14-16 NLT

This all sounds great but the revolving question for me is, “how do I do this?”

Ironic, isn't it?

How 'do' I 'do' this?

What does being look like?

In the lesson of the lightbulb I find myself realizing that I can't work harder to shine brighter or stronger. I can't light up the entire world by myself. I only exist because God made me and I can only shine if I am filled with the Holy Spirit flowing through me, enabling me to be who I was created to be.

It's at this time that the opposition arises within me to say, but if I live to be, then how will anything get done? Yet, I realize my mindset, is backwards. What if being replaced doing as the first priority in my life? What would my life look like then?

Yeah but...

“The world values action....”

Yeah? But what does God value?

And who's value carries more weight, more pull, more sway, more importance in my life?

“The world values action, but the Father prioritizes relationship 

– specifically a right relationship with Him. ” 
- Charles Stanley

And there's the crux of it all....the whole doing versus being debate. The questions, the wonderings, the flawed outlook on life...all circle around and come back to one thing and one thing only. Am I in right relationship with my Father?

Oh to get off the wild roller coaster of doing and onto the peaceful sandy beach of being!

Being restful in His presence...”Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest...” Matthew 11:28 “Be still, and know that I am God! Ps 46:10

Being who God made me to be...”Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved...” 1Cor. 3:12 “...be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Eph 5:1-2

Being is abiding...

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower...Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing...As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.” Excerpts from John 15:1-11

Now before frustration rises at the above verses....let me say that I have been there numerous times! What does it mean to be? What does it mean to be still? To imitate God? To live in love? What does it mean to abide??????

I want tangible. I want neat words and phrases and formulas to follow. I want a list of dos and don'ts. I want easy.

But God never said that being was easy. Look what being cost him! His very life. And that's what being is going to cost me.

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.” Matthew 16:24

The daily dying to self so that I can be. The moment by moment, minute by minute surrender in all kinds of situations and circumstances and roles and responsibilities. For me to live is Christ or at least it's suppose to be.

“Christ in my everything.

God in my living, there in my breathing
God in my waking, God in my sleeping
God in my resting, there in my working
God in my thinking, God in my speaking

God in my hoping, there in my dreaming
God in my watching, God in my waiting
God in my laughing, there in my weeping
God in my hurting, God in my healing

Christ in me, the hope of glory
Be my everything, be my everything

You are everything, You are everything
Jesus, everything.” ~ Tim Hughes

It's all about a right relationship with Him. Putting Him first and foremost.

To do or not to do, isn't the question. Nor is it the answer.

Being is the best way forward. Doing must come second and only as an outflowing of my right relationship with Him.

It's not easy. It's hard. But it's being and being is a whole lot better than just doing.

~ Karlene

“The world values action, but the Father prioritizes relationship 

– specifically a right relationship with Him. ” 
- Charles Stanley

Everything by Tim Hughes

(Pictures taken by and property of Karlene Thiessen)

Soccer Update

Life has not been stagnant or still; we have been busy. Poor excuse for not writing sooner, but there it is. Perhaps a better excuse is that it hasn't been a part of my weekly schedule. Here's to learning to make it more regular, both for you, so you can check out what is new, and for me, as it is good to reflect on what of importance has been happening.
I enjoyed attending a recent retreat for Ministry Initiative Leaders. I was invited to attend as I am now co-leading a Ministry Initiative. More on that soon...!
The retreat was a time to share, reflect, ask questions, and get to know our TEAM co-workers better. The 2 nights were spent at a remote location which found us boarding a small water taxi and ferrying across 1 km of the Sea of Cortez. When we arrived on the other side, a minivan relayed us to the house we rented. It was a very nice retirement home, that was a gift we found easy to enjoy for the short time.
The peninsula that is known as The Magote is quiet and peaceful, with the occasional snake, many birds, and a few tourists. Some have made it their permanent retirement getaway. Once we were settled in, we spent some time sharing. I shared this...

In the last few months, I have been coaching a boys soccer team, with boys from the ages of 10 and 11. The boys are energetic, full of life and I have enjoyed getting to know them. They also fill me with joy when they give me high fives and smiles. A few help me get the equipment out, I set up some cones, and then we sit down and chat. Once some more boys come, we open in prayer. Last time it was a bit embarrassing as I tried to say Glorificarte and got stuck on the pronunciation, but they helped me out graciously (with a few chuckles). I am also working with a fair number of boys that are missing out on practices as they attend training for their first communion in the Catholic church. This tells me that there is either a desire to know God, or their is a strong connection to tradition.
We are in 7th position in the standings, so played the 2nd place team in the tournament. Our first game was tough, we played well to begin, taking a half time break with a 2-2 tie. The second half was wide open in front of our net, and we ended up losing 9-3. The second game against the same team was better played by us, but the final score ended up 5-3 for them.
I was hoping for better results for the hard work that we have put in, but see that we have a lot more hard work to go. Some parents were quite upset by what they saw from us, and I pray that it won't hinder our relationships. I know that I have to earn their respect as the coach, or it will be harder to share anything with them about Jesus.
The last day of April was Dia de los Niños, which is a celebration of children. To celebrate with my team, we took a day of practice and played fun games that had little to do with soccer. We ate buckets of ice cream and ran relay races, tossed many water balloons and laughed a lot. I took about 5 minutes to share why they are important to me and to God. They listened and seemed to appreciate what I shared, but they were somewhat distracted. I hope to find another natural opportunity to share more with them.


Please continue to pray for these 30 boys and their families. They are precious!

Learning

Learning is both passive and active, that is it happens without our effort, and it happens with effort. I think our children are great examples of the passive, as they "sponge" some Spanish phrase that takes us a week to figure out and a month to remember.
Lately, we have been challenged by various people in various ways to grow in our understanding of ourselves. Spiritual maturity is a worthy pursuit, and the book, The Emotionally Healthy Church, challenges us to consider the connection between emotional health/maturity and spiritual maturity. The two are connected and can't be separated says the author. After reading it halfway through, I see his point. In fact it seems very clear. If you have wondered why you have stopped growing spiritually, and why it seems so hard to leave old harmful habits behind, this book is for you. In fact I would suggest that all Christians could benefit from reading this book.
An interesting questionnaire rates your emotional maturity, and I was not too surprised to find myself in the "adolescent" range. I never considered myself to have issues that needed to be dealt with in the area of emotional health, but that is part of my problem. I never considered my emotional health, as I have always been fairly stable and even-keeled. But I do have the tendency to brush off and ignore things that I shouldn't. This is a problem area.
We are excited about combining our passions and skills with another family in the beginning of a new Ministry Initiative in La Paz, Mexico. It has been good to consider the importance of our backgrounds, personalities, paradigms and much more that we bring to the table when working with colleagues. So, we have looked at the importance of emotional maturity and discernment. When a group works together, they bring all of their background and the people in their lives that are impacting them at the moment to the table as well. The issue being discussed may be impacted by all sorts of things that you don't realize because of how complex humans are, and how we seldom reflect on why we are thinking what we think - Meta thinking some call it. A great way to dig deeper is to ask why questions.
Anyways, check out the book if this seems like something that would help you out. Also, there is a book by the same author on the same topic for individuals - The Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero.