Thursday, August 5, 2010
Tears and Teddy Bears
It was brought to my attention a few nights ago, that I've been a little preoccupied with preparations. We had a couple, who were possibly interested in buying our house, come for a tour. In the end it didn't work for them to do so and I didn't give it much more thought. However, when praying with Keyana that night, I soon realized that our little girl had given the days events more thought than I had. As she laid in bed, hugging her teddy big tears welled up in her eyes and in a shaky voice she said, "But I don't want other people to live in our house. This is our house." And then she began to cry. I was surprised and I realized that I had wrongly assumed that Keyana was oblivious to much of what is happening these days. I knew that Josiah had his share of fears because he's told us. "I don't want to go on a plane because planes crash, what if a lion eats me, they don't speak English over there so I won't be able to understand them, I don't have friends there, I don't want to leave Papa and Nana behind......" I was able to reassure her that wherever we go in the world, God will provide for all our needs, including a house. We wiped away her tears, prayed and she fell asleep peacefully. I came away with the realization that these changes are going to affect us all, even if on the outside it doesn't seem to and that we need to be diligent in helping our children make this adjustment. We appreciate your prayers for the wisdom, understanding, compassion and strength to make this transition a positive one for Josiah and Keyana. We pray that these 11 months in Zambia will bring us even closer as a family and strengthen our faith in God! ~Karlene
Monday, August 2, 2010
Peace Midst the Stress and Unknowns
Time is ticking, the countdown is on and yet we are so far from being ready to go. The stress is rising, the unknowns are still not answered and yet......there is peace. How can that be? We have no idea what we are doing with our house or our stuff, Anthony has some health concerns that need to be checked into, we're trying to finish some projects, our tickets need to be bought but we don't know if there is money to buy them with, we've hardly packed and yet life continues to go on. I wish there was a way of stopping time so that we could catch up! I feel the stress and yet there's an underlying peace that I can't explain. I know that God has not brought us this far to abandon us now. I take encouragement from these verses in Psalm 138:3,8, "When I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me the strength I need...The Lord will work out His plans for my life - for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever." I know He's calling us to trust Him to work out the plans for our future and to wait on Him as He does. This peace I feel midst the stress is foreign to me, usually I'm plagued with worry in times like these. I now more fully understand the kind of peace that Paul was talking about in Philippians 4:6-7. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." We appreciate your prayers as we continue on this journey, one step at a time. ~Karlene
Thursday, July 1, 2010
The Shopping Mall Angel
It was a whirlwind trip to Edmonton. A doctor's appointment for Keyana, a brace fitting for myself, connecting with family and friends, trying to find and buy a computer so that I can continue creating the Joyful Praise radio program from any where in the world and picking up items needed for our return to Zambia. I had no intention of stopping on my way out of the city to buy luggage but a Zeller's flyer on my cousin's table caught my eye and when I saw 50%-70% off on select luggage, I just knew I had to stop. The size of our traveling entourage has now doubled and therefore we have outgrown the number of suitcases we own. It was for this reason and because I was praying I could get a good deal and save money, that I parked outside of West Edmonton Mall, breathed a deep breath and headed into Zellers with my 4 year old in tow.
It ended up being a long day, much more tiring and frustrating than it had to be because of my all- too-often, crazy notion that maybe I can find a better price some place else. So after visiting 4 stores, stopping for more than one potty break, letting Keyana play on some kiddie rides to stem the tide of whining (which wasn't too bad, I was surprised how well she did do given that the day was incredibly long, boring and not quite the way an active 4 year old would like to spend it), and a lunch break, I finally made up my mind. Being that we didn't have a cart, the two of us tried to make our way to the check-out with mounds of luggage which was quite comical in itself to begin with but the laughter soon gave way to frustration. Keyana struggled to wheel two suitcases by herself and I tried to wheel three, as-large-as-we-could-get suitcases, through rows of merchandise, coming close to taking out a few displays and some customers as well.
With some sweat, determination and some luggage spills, we finally arrived at our destination to be greeted by a friendly cashier who rang them in at regular cost but took my word that they were on sale and adjusted the price accordingly. Then she tried to sell me a credit card to save 15% on my entire purchase which really sounded great but after the attempt failed two times and the line behind me was growing I told her to just forget about it, but did thank her for trying. As I apologized to the lady behind me she waved me off by saying not to worry about it and then asked where we were traveling too. I told her we were actually moving to Zambia. The guy behind her piped up and asked if that was somewhere near Iraq and I kindly corrected him by saying that it was in southern Africa. We had definitely piqued people's interest as we held up the line and then tried between the two of us to clear the area with 6 pieces of luggage. Not a pretty sight. But Keyana was a trooper and my big helper and she tried her best to pull two of the smaller pieces while I struggled with the rest. We managed to make it to the exit doors where I fit some of the smaller pieces into the big ones but was still having difficulty trying wheel three large suitcases with only two hands.
As we made our way through the entrance the alarm went off which only added to my frustration and mounting embarrassment for the detour we were creating by taking up a large portion of the doorway with our luggage fiasco. There was a mother and son who stopped to ask where we were going on our trip. I told them that we were moving to Zambia and the lady responded with incredibility lacing her words, "Why are you doing that?" My answer was, "Because God is calling us there." "Oh," she responded somewhat more subdued, "so you going on missions. What religion?" "Christian" I replied. Then her and her son launched into a time of sharing about how friends of theirs had spent time in Africa on missions, and although I appreciated their story I must confess that I had the urge to tell them that instead of their verbal antidotes, I would much rather prefer their physical help and assistance to get my luggage to my vehicle. But, I held my tongue, smiled and listened and thank them for their well wishes for a good trip. By this time I had the luggage balanced again, located Keyana who was busy pulling her two suitcases back and forth through the automatic doors and attempted once again to leave the store. But just when I thought we might actually make it, the alarm went off a second time sending us back inside to dismantle the suitcases to find the security sticker that was still stubbornly attached to our luggage. The son was still standing there and I secretly wished that he would offer his time and strength to help us make it to our vehicle with our cumbersome load but instead he offered more verbal encouragement through the words, "You might want to make sure all of those are off so that you're not setting off the alarm again. You don't really want them to have to come and take you....." He finished but thrusting his thumb over his shoulder as if to say "over there." I smiled and nodded and wished someone would offer to help us.
I piled up the pieces once again and we made it through on the third attempt without setting off the alarm. Keyana had herself so twisted up that she was dragging one suitcase upside down and I could envision the luggage being shredded on the rough sidewalk. While still balancing my three giants I tried to explain to her that she needed to turn the one suitcase around. She struggled to do so and people continued to pass us by as I tried to patiently explain to my sweet 4 year old what she needed to do without setting down my precariously balanced load to only have to assemble it once again. A trio of ladies were trying to make their way through the doorway that Keyana was occupying and just when I thought that they to would pass us by, one stopped and having heard my instructions, helped Keyana to turn the suitcase around so she could pull it by the wheels instead of the front pocket. My hope spiked as I thought she and maybe her friends would offer to help us but it quickly died as they turned and continued on their way.
Tired and frustrated, stressed and drained, I found myself crying out a prayer in my head, for someone to please help us. And just like that, there he was. He was tall and frail. His white hair and bushy eyebrows conveyed the message of age, time past and life experienced. The wrinkles gathered around his eyes and mouth and his weathered hands were somewhat gnarled. I didn't see him arrive but he was right beside me when I turned and he looked me in the eyes and said, "Would you like some help with those? I have 20 minutes to spare since I'm waiting here for someone." Having just forgotten my hearts cry born out of frustration and hopelessness, the first words that formed on my lips where, "that's okay, I think we'll manage." But I stopped short as I remembered what I had just voiced to God and as I did I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and joy. God had answered my prayer! I returned this man's gaze and as my sigh was replaced with a huge smile I said, "I would LOVE some help!" He smiled and proceeded to take two of the large suitcases from my hands, freeing me to take the one that remained along with a smaller one from Keyana. When he heard me say Keyana's name, he asked, "Did you say her name was Keyana?" "Yes," I replied. He grinned and said, "I have a granddaughter who's name is Keyana." It was a brief but warm connection.
We crossed the parking lot rather quickly and I turned to watch this kind man who shuffled slowly toward us, a slight stoop to his shoulders as he pulled my luggage behind him and my heart was touched by his obvious servant hood, kindness and compassion. He didn't ask me where we were going or why I was buying so much luggage. He just quietly waited as I packed the suitcases into the vehicle and when I was done I turned to him and shook his hand and said, "Thank you so much sir for your help." He smiled, "It was my pleasure." And then he put his hand on my arm and looked me straight in the eyes. His gaze was warm but commanding. I stilled because for a split second it was as if he was looking deep within me to the place where my fears and worries still try to dance their way through my mind. It was like he knew. And then he spoke two words that stopped the dance and ushered in peace. "Travel safely." His words spoken with a firm resolve, carried with them a prophetic voice that spoke the words, 'we will' within my heart. "Thank you" I replied. I turned to walk beside him to Keyana's side to help her in and as we fell in step I added, "You have been a blessing to us today." I looked up to give him one last smile, but he was gone. I stopped, closed my eyes and as the tiring and frustrating moments of my day passed before my mind I praised God for hearing my cry and then I breathed a prayer of gratitude and thanksgiving to Him, for the shopping mall angel.
It ended up being a long day, much more tiring and frustrating than it had to be because of my all- too-often, crazy notion that maybe I can find a better price some place else. So after visiting 4 stores, stopping for more than one potty break, letting Keyana play on some kiddie rides to stem the tide of whining (which wasn't too bad, I was surprised how well she did do given that the day was incredibly long, boring and not quite the way an active 4 year old would like to spend it), and a lunch break, I finally made up my mind. Being that we didn't have a cart, the two of us tried to make our way to the check-out with mounds of luggage which was quite comical in itself to begin with but the laughter soon gave way to frustration. Keyana struggled to wheel two suitcases by herself and I tried to wheel three, as-large-as-we-could-get suitcases, through rows of merchandise, coming close to taking out a few displays and some customers as well.
With some sweat, determination and some luggage spills, we finally arrived at our destination to be greeted by a friendly cashier who rang them in at regular cost but took my word that they were on sale and adjusted the price accordingly. Then she tried to sell me a credit card to save 15% on my entire purchase which really sounded great but after the attempt failed two times and the line behind me was growing I told her to just forget about it, but did thank her for trying. As I apologized to the lady behind me she waved me off by saying not to worry about it and then asked where we were traveling too. I told her we were actually moving to Zambia. The guy behind her piped up and asked if that was somewhere near Iraq and I kindly corrected him by saying that it was in southern Africa. We had definitely piqued people's interest as we held up the line and then tried between the two of us to clear the area with 6 pieces of luggage. Not a pretty sight. But Keyana was a trooper and my big helper and she tried her best to pull two of the smaller pieces while I struggled with the rest. We managed to make it to the exit doors where I fit some of the smaller pieces into the big ones but was still having difficulty trying wheel three large suitcases with only two hands.
As we made our way through the entrance the alarm went off which only added to my frustration and mounting embarrassment for the detour we were creating by taking up a large portion of the doorway with our luggage fiasco. There was a mother and son who stopped to ask where we were going on our trip. I told them that we were moving to Zambia and the lady responded with incredibility lacing her words, "Why are you doing that?" My answer was, "Because God is calling us there." "Oh," she responded somewhat more subdued, "so you going on missions. What religion?" "Christian" I replied. Then her and her son launched into a time of sharing about how friends of theirs had spent time in Africa on missions, and although I appreciated their story I must confess that I had the urge to tell them that instead of their verbal antidotes, I would much rather prefer their physical help and assistance to get my luggage to my vehicle. But, I held my tongue, smiled and listened and thank them for their well wishes for a good trip. By this time I had the luggage balanced again, located Keyana who was busy pulling her two suitcases back and forth through the automatic doors and attempted once again to leave the store. But just when I thought we might actually make it, the alarm went off a second time sending us back inside to dismantle the suitcases to find the security sticker that was still stubbornly attached to our luggage. The son was still standing there and I secretly wished that he would offer his time and strength to help us make it to our vehicle with our cumbersome load but instead he offered more verbal encouragement through the words, "You might want to make sure all of those are off so that you're not setting off the alarm again. You don't really want them to have to come and take you....." He finished but thrusting his thumb over his shoulder as if to say "over there." I smiled and nodded and wished someone would offer to help us.
I piled up the pieces once again and we made it through on the third attempt without setting off the alarm. Keyana had herself so twisted up that she was dragging one suitcase upside down and I could envision the luggage being shredded on the rough sidewalk. While still balancing my three giants I tried to explain to her that she needed to turn the one suitcase around. She struggled to do so and people continued to pass us by as I tried to patiently explain to my sweet 4 year old what she needed to do without setting down my precariously balanced load to only have to assemble it once again. A trio of ladies were trying to make their way through the doorway that Keyana was occupying and just when I thought that they to would pass us by, one stopped and having heard my instructions, helped Keyana to turn the suitcase around so she could pull it by the wheels instead of the front pocket. My hope spiked as I thought she and maybe her friends would offer to help us but it quickly died as they turned and continued on their way.
Tired and frustrated, stressed and drained, I found myself crying out a prayer in my head, for someone to please help us. And just like that, there he was. He was tall and frail. His white hair and bushy eyebrows conveyed the message of age, time past and life experienced. The wrinkles gathered around his eyes and mouth and his weathered hands were somewhat gnarled. I didn't see him arrive but he was right beside me when I turned and he looked me in the eyes and said, "Would you like some help with those? I have 20 minutes to spare since I'm waiting here for someone." Having just forgotten my hearts cry born out of frustration and hopelessness, the first words that formed on my lips where, "that's okay, I think we'll manage." But I stopped short as I remembered what I had just voiced to God and as I did I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and joy. God had answered my prayer! I returned this man's gaze and as my sigh was replaced with a huge smile I said, "I would LOVE some help!" He smiled and proceeded to take two of the large suitcases from my hands, freeing me to take the one that remained along with a smaller one from Keyana. When he heard me say Keyana's name, he asked, "Did you say her name was Keyana?" "Yes," I replied. He grinned and said, "I have a granddaughter who's name is Keyana." It was a brief but warm connection.
We crossed the parking lot rather quickly and I turned to watch this kind man who shuffled slowly toward us, a slight stoop to his shoulders as he pulled my luggage behind him and my heart was touched by his obvious servant hood, kindness and compassion. He didn't ask me where we were going or why I was buying so much luggage. He just quietly waited as I packed the suitcases into the vehicle and when I was done I turned to him and shook his hand and said, "Thank you so much sir for your help." He smiled, "It was my pleasure." And then he put his hand on my arm and looked me straight in the eyes. His gaze was warm but commanding. I stilled because for a split second it was as if he was looking deep within me to the place where my fears and worries still try to dance their way through my mind. It was like he knew. And then he spoke two words that stopped the dance and ushered in peace. "Travel safely." His words spoken with a firm resolve, carried with them a prophetic voice that spoke the words, 'we will' within my heart. "Thank you" I replied. I turned to walk beside him to Keyana's side to help her in and as we fell in step I added, "You have been a blessing to us today." I looked up to give him one last smile, but he was gone. I stopped, closed my eyes and as the tiring and frustrating moments of my day passed before my mind I praised God for hearing my cry and then I breathed a prayer of gratitude and thanksgiving to Him, for the shopping mall angel.
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